Top Ten Tuesday (5/10/11)

Top Ten Biggest Jerks In Literature

According to Jamie:

Anyways, the other week we did top ten mean girls in now we’re on to the biggest jerks..all those jerky guys in books..those who truly WERE asshats and those who just acted like one but could be quite loveable! 

So I figured I needed to start with the term jerk.  According to Wiktionary, it is “a person with unlikable or obnoxious qualities and behavior, typically mean, self-centered, or disagreeable.” I tried here to stay away from people who were just plain evil and lower the bar down to jerk. There is no order here. 

1. Draco Malfoy (The Harry Potter Series) – Racist, bully, coward jerk.

You know how I think they choose people for the Gryffindor team. It’s people they feel sorry for. See, there’s Potter, who’s got no parents, then there’s the Weasleys, who’ve got no money — you should be on the team, Longbottom, you’ve got no brains.

2. Scrooge (A Christmas Carol) – Greedy, workaholic jerk. Described by Dickens “…a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner!”

“Every idiot who goes about with Merry Christmas on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.”

3. Mayor Prentiss (The Chaos Walking Series) – ego-maniacal, controlling, manipulative, hates his own son, the closest to evil on this list jerk.

“War,” says Mayor Prentiss, his eyes glinting. “At last.”

4. Quentin (The Magicians) – As the major character in a book you would think he would have some redeemable characteristics. Nope, he is a jerk He is miserable, bored, self-pitying jerk.

“I got my heart’s desire, and there my troubles began.”

5.  Thomas Covenent (The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever Series) – embittered, cynical, rapist, not the guy to hang the hero mantle on jerk.

“Futility is the defining characteristic of life.” 

6. August Rosenbluth (Water for Elephants) – Brutal and charming jerk.

“I look after those who look after me.” He smacks his lips, stares at me, and adds, “I also look after those who don’t.”

7. Dorian Gray (The Picture of Dorian Gray) – hedonist, rake, immoral, narcissistic jerk.

“Conscience and cowardice are really the same things … Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all.”

8.  Spider Jerusalem (Transmetropolitan) –  bitter, hate-filled, rage-oholic jerk.

“There’s one hole in every revolution, large or small. And it’s one word long — PEOPLE. No matter how big the idea they all stand under, people are small and weak and cheap and frightened. It’s people that kill every revolution.”

9. Norman Arminger (The Emberverse Series) – megalomaniac, sociopath, cruel, and re-instituted slavery jerk.

“Ah, surprising and very fortunate for you – the Association of Those Who Like Hitting Things with Spark Pointy Things,” Arminger said. ‘I attended a few of their gatherings. Very focused, very practical – in the sense of re-creating effective sword styles, which in those days wasn’t of much practical use at all. The Society was deplorably eclectic, although the Pensic War was always entertaining. And a surprising number of it members proved to be excessively sentimental and had to be be … removed from the equation.”

10.  And finally, the one that could get me in real trouble: Edward Cullen (The Twilight Series) – So let me let this jerk speak for himself. 

I saved your life – I don’t owe you anything.

Bella, it’s not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant.

I’m just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may.

Are you frightened of me now?

I’ve never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it’s much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that’s probably just because it’s you. Ordinary people seem to make it through the day without so many catastrophes.

Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.

I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted. I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you would say yes to Mike, or someone like him. It made me angry.

11 thoughts on “Top Ten Tuesday (5/10/11)

  1. Some great choices on here! Scrooge as one of the jerks-who-recovered is my favorite… wish I'd have remembered him.

    Edward Cullen almost made my list, too. But I included evil guys, and there were just too many options. 🙂

  2. Dorian Gray is on lots of lists, and for some reason I'm surprised. I guess I felt sorry for him. I admit he is a jerk for sure.

    Read my list here.

  3. @LBC Me too. But at his core he really is a jerk. Although Ben Barnes made him look mighty yummy in the recent adaptation.

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